I can’t believe the BIG day is just 1 sleep away. Well, 2 sleeps technically. 1 last sleep in my own room and the next sleep in the plane!
Disappointing much, the BIG day has nothing to do with 21st birthday, engagement, wedding or whatsoever...but to me it's BIG because it's the day my dream come true after 7 years! 7 years of obsession, dedication, loyalty, unconditional love~ I'll be breathing the same air, stepping on the same ground, feeling the same sunshine, enjoying the same scenery as my hubby Yong Hwa oppa ♥
I love going to different places but plane rides really kill me. Every single time I go onto the plane, I feel that I need to do 100000 squats to undo the spongebob butt from those long hours...
After 7 years of dreaming about Korea, I am actually going! This is too surreal, to the extent that I don’t even know how exactly I am feeling…
Excited? Nervous? Overwhelmed? Stressed?
A few days ago I was losing sleep big time. It felt as if I had a gazillion things flying around in my head in the middle of the night. I went to bed at 10.45pm, closed my eyes but I couldn’t sleep.
I tried to sleep but I could feel that it’s not “legit”. The next thing I knew, I opened up my eyes widely at 1.50am and jumped out of bed. No idea why I did that but my heart was beating really fast as if I just had 3 shots of vodka.
I thought to myself, “maybe because the room’s too messy and so my mood is being affected”. At 2am, I was tidying my room and hanging up my fresh laundry. When I was done I turned off the light and tried to go to bed, still couldn’t. FML big time.
By that time it was already 2.40am, so I went online trying to finish booking all of my accommodations for my Korea trip. Still…my heart was beating so fast that I felt that anytime it’d just jump out of my chest. I then tried to go onto Youtube to find some meditation music and things like that to calm myself down but it didn’t work. Frustrated much, I went to tidy the kitchen cabinet, at 3.40am!! Awesome shit!!
By the time I finished doing everything that I could possibly think of, I went to bed at 4.50am.
The next morning, I Whatsapp-ed Chernie and told her about this. She told me to go to the doctor as she said it MIGHT be a panic attack that I had from last night. I was like “WTF are you serious? Does that mean that I have a depression?" Alright, pardon me for not having scientific knowledge at all, but hey at least I do know what is a paramecium and that a cow has 4 stomachs!
Thankfully, my colleague Daniel who's studying Bio-Med assured me several times that those symptoms were common pre-travel issues, typically for me as a first-time solo traveller. Thank GOD!! Why did I not have such issues when I moved 90% of my possessions over the huge ocean and spent my 18th birthday on the plane alone with a laptop and the electric guitar that was too heavy to carry all around the airport... . .
So far, I have listed out the places that I want to visit while I am in Seoul but nothing at all for Busan. Told my mom about my anxiety and she shot me this message and it totally changed my perspective. Instead of dwelling upon ticking off all the boxes, she told me, "If you want to go to cafes in Korea, just go. You don't have to do all the touristy things and go to all places at once. Not that you wouldn't go back again!" Right, it's freaking Korea for crying out loud. If I could, I would be going back there every single year.
.
.
To be drop dead honest, I really don't know what to expect from this trip. As much as I love shopping, I feel for this trip I just want to keep the crazy shopping to a minimal. On the contrary, I just want to take my time strolling around natural parks in Korea and go to cozy little cafes to write my journal/read, eat street food and take lots of photos! Also, I'll buy a Korean version of "The Little Prince" back!!!
.
.
It's been around 2 months or 2.5 months since I booked the trip. I wouldn't have the courage to do so without someone's encouragement in the first place. (Let's just call that person L) L prolly doesn't know this but I do take L's advice and words seriously because I admire and trust L entirely. If you are ever reading this L, I know I don't say it enough because I don't know how to...but thank YOU for always encouraging me to chase after my dreams and telling me that you are proud of me. Thank YOU for never trying to pave a typical path for me but watch as I grow and provide me sound advice whenever I turn to you for anything. Thank YOU for challenging me to get out of my comfort zone and to think outside of the box. You make me a better version of myself ☆
No matter how the journey will turn out to be, this will be MY trip. I saved up, planned and paid for everything on my own. This is a challenge and also a big adventure for myself. I don't know whether it would be as amazing as I have been picturing for 7 god damn years but I do believe that if you appreciate the little things in life, no matter where you are and what you are doing, there is always something in life to be grateful for :) Plus, the kimchi should be better on the other side with law of attraction on MY side! (hey, that rhymes!)
This time tomorrow I shall be sitting mindlessly at the airport on my own with my earphones. I bought sleeping pills for the flight, downloaded the old dramas that I am going to reminisce in the plane and also brought along a new book titled "The Lean Startup" - these ought to keep me occupied for the whole trip.
I haven't finished packing my bag because I'm still waiting for my clothes to dry up, so I'll take care of that tomorrow after work. I'll have 4 hours to pack up. Originally I wanted to blog about "What's My In Flight Essentials" and things like that which I love watching/reading about. Nosy me who loves to poke her nose into other people's bags! Oh well, I surrender since I am going to bring the things that only seem logical to myself and not to anyone else ><"
My priority list is definitely a mess when it comes to travelling. As long as I get things done, it doesn't matter how they were being taken care of :P Bet I inherited this pre-travel trait from my mom in the blood!
That's all for today, I'm going to be away from my laptop for 20 days...This is the longest time ever. Perhaps that's why I am anxious because my sense of security won't be with me for so long... Anyways, enough crap for tonight. The reason why I painstakingly wrote this blog post is to pour out my thoughts because I'm too lazy to put pen to paper and it'll be a shame if I didn't "document" the feelings and thoughts that I had on the night-before-I-fly. I'll come back and copy it by hand or print it out to stick into my travel journal in November.
Good-Bam!
Post a Comment