"You’ve changed." That’s the phrase I’ve probably heard the most since the beginning of this year. At first, I was caught off guard—wondering, "Have I really changed?"
But then I realized—yes, I have, and I’m proud of it. I’m still me; it’s just that I’ve consciously made efforts to shed old habits, limiting beliefs, and behaviours that no longer serve me. To the old Fion, goodbye! I’ve left you in that old quantum reality. The system has been upgraded for good. There’s no turning back once you’ve updated your iOS.
People love to say, "Old habits die hard." But honestly? I disagree. That phrase is often a crutch we use to avoid the discomfort of change. It’s a defence mechanism, a way to justify staying stagnant when deep down, we know change is necessary.
And trust me, I’m not sitting here on a high horse, calling anyone out. This was me too—stuck in patterns I didn’t even realize were holding me back. But over the last few months, I’ve started asking myself tougher questions, confronting (demonic) thoughts I hadn’t wanted to face.
Let’s be real for a second. How many of us spend our days worrying about what others are doing, thinking, or saying? And how often do we pause and reflect on what’s going on inside our own heads? I used to be that person, always speculating about someone else's actions, rather than facing my own inner struggles.
But something shifted this year. I realized that the most important work I can do is within myself. Let me give you some small examples.
On days when I think, "I’m too tired to work out", I’ve started asking myself, "Am I really tired, or am I just going to lay in bed and scroll through Instagram?" Spoiler alert: I’m usually just being lazy. So instead of giving in, I make a deal with myself: "Get up, and just do 10 minutes." Usually, once I start, those 10 minutes turn into 20 or 30, because if I’m already committing to washing my hair afterwards, I might as well make it worth it!
Another big revelation for me this year was learning to stop interpreting other people’s actions as personal attacks. You know how we do that? Someone doesn’t text you back for a few days, and immediately, your mind starts spiralling: "She’s ignoring me." or "There she goes again, acting like a bitch!" But here’s the truth—it’s almost never about you. Most people aren’t scheming or plotting against you; they’re just living their lives, caught up in their own stuff.
I used to be that person, assuming the worst and taking things personally. But one day, while I was venting to a friend about someone not responding to me, she asked a question that changed my perspective: “Why do you want to make yourself a victim by default?”
That hit me hard. Why was I so quick to victimize myself? Why did I automatically assume someone was out to hurt me? Why was I so obsessed with envisioning things going wrong instead of rainbows and unicorns? Call me delusional, but according to the law of attraction, the more you focus on something, the more likely it is to manifest in your life—and I definitely do not want to subscribe to that service!
From that moment on, I made a commitment to question my own thoughts more carefully. When someone doesn’t reply to my message, instead of jumping to conclusions, I now tell myself, “Maybe they’re busy, or they just forgot. I’ll remind them later if it’s important.” It’s a small insignificant shift, but it’s been life-changing.
If someone really does act rudely or suddenly becomes hostile towards me, the first thing I do is check whether I might have said or done something hurtful to them (this isn't self-blame, but I want to hold myself accountable if I’ve unintentionally caused harm). If the answer is no, that's enough for me. They can act however they want, and it has nothing to do with me. I can choose how I perceive it—it’s a choice, and the power lies within me, not in them or their actions.
Here’s a little formula I’ve started living by—and I’m sharing it with you, not as advice but as something that works for me: If it doesn’t cost me money, physical harm, or detrimental betrayal, I’m not going to let it ruin my day. Period.
Think about it. How often do we blow things out of proportion that really don’t matter? Getting angry or upset over small things (like someone cutting in line at the grocery store or in a public restroom) is like handing over your peace of mind on a silver platter. Not to mention, victimizing yourself is definitely not cute (or healthy). Also, because I'm generally lazy, if something can help me be more chill, then I’ll take double of that!
This whole process has been about protecting my energy. And if that means people think I’ve changed—well, I’ll take that as a compliment. I’m no longer interested in holding onto things that drain me, whether it’s toxic thoughts, friendships, or even my own self-limiting beliefs.
So if you’re on a similar journey, know that you’re not alone. We all struggle with habits that are hard to break, but the first step is simply questioning yourself. I hope you recognize the fine line between condemning or blaming yourself and simply examining yourself to grow. When you do explore the depths of your mind (with a GPS in hand, so you don’t get lost in spiralling negative thoughts), the answers might surprise you.
PS: I'm still a work in progress too, but it doesn’t hurt to share this tip so we can keep each other company along the journey :)
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