1/10 Lessons of 2024: Only What I Think, Feel, Do, Say Matters

Have you ever felt, “Why does life seem to get heavier and heavier as we grow?”

Some might say it’s because of the commitments and responsibilities we bear at work and in life. But I beg to differ. I believe the weight comes from within our minds rather than from what’s physically out there.

We carry sooooooo many beliefs imposed by society, treating them like unspoken contracts. It’s as if failing to fulfill them means we’ve failed as human beings. But have you ever stopped to wonder, “Is this really true?”

I came across a spiritual podcast where the host said something that completely blew my mind: “If something didn’t exist the very second you came into this world, then it’s not the truth. Everything else that came after is just other people’s beliefs that you LET into your system.”

Take a look at these examples: 

• If you’re not a university graduate, you’re a failure.
  (Is this as absolute as the law of gravity? There are countless people who achieve success without going to university. Then again, what’s the real definition of success?) 
  
  
• Don’t double-text someone—it makes you look cheap and always available. People don’t value someone like that.
  (Couldn’t it just be that it slipped their mind? You don’t have to assign such a negative meaning to others’ actions, let alone default to viewing yourself in such a low position.) 
  
  
• Rich people are all evil and greedy—they probably got their wealth through shady means.
  (Is this true for every single rich person in existence?)

I could list countless examples, but take a moment to think about this. What other beliefs have you been carrying in various aspects of your life without ever questioning them?

In a nutshell, the truth is simply what I choose to believe is true.

What do other people say, think, or feel? LET THEM. Ultimately, everything boils down to a personal choice—not a matter of right or wrong. And that’s how I started to truly not take most things personally. I'm still learning to get better at this! 

The result? This year, for the first time in my life, I feel the least amount of anxiety. And for the first time, I can look in the mirror and tell myself, “Hey Fion, you’re not bad at all!” Because I no longer carry the destructive ideas that others try to impose on me.

In my reality, only what I think, feel, do, or say matters.

On the flip side, if people choose to take my words personally and twist their meaning, my favourite response is: “I can’t help you if you choose to think that way. But you’re right, so go ahead!”

I strive to be so confident in who I am, on my own terms, that no one’s opinions, praise, or criticism—nor things, events, or circumstances—can shake me.